Honey I've Got a Headache...Struggles with sexually intimacy

If men are from Venus and Women are from Mars no wonder couple have problems getting it on. As you might have guessed this blog is dealing with sex. I want to approach this from a physician who takes care of women. This will definitely get the conversations going which is exactly what I want to happen.

Sex has been a hurdle for some couples for years. I think that the biggest problem I have seen clinically is that of expectations. How often should a couple have sex? Is it normal to have sex four times a week or is it more normal to have sex four times a month? In my mind the answer to the question is ..... yes! The normalcy has more to do with the couples' expectation than meeting an average.

The next area that I see couples have major problems is associated with desire. For the most part...no desire leads to little or no sex. What are some of the hurdles that I have seen with my patients.

1. Hormonal changes: childbirth, menopause, medications, depression
2. Pain with sex: if it hurts every time you do something you're probably not in a rush to come back to it again.
3. Work / children: I put these together because the underlying issue is the same. Fatigue has spoiled many a romantic nights.
4. Body image: be it yours or his...sometimes the extra jiggle just ain't sexy baby.

So what do we do: C O M M U N I C A T E ! ! ! ! !

Let me put on the guy hat now and take off the doctor's coat. Men are simple creatures and we focus our thoughts in a compartmentalized fashion. If you need more help with the kids, washing dishes, cleaning the bathroom let your partner know. If sex is painful it may be a simple fix such as using K-Y jelly.

The crux is talk it out. Stop being quiet about your needs and hopefully you'll be having outstanding sex again.

As always I welcome your comments and questions!!


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Location:Dayton, OH